The following question came in after the Benediction on Sunday. In case you weren’t in attendance, I made the point from Psalm 139 (cf. Genesis 1:27) that we were knit together in our mother’s womb as male OR female.
Text: So in the workplace, when folks tell us they are a different pronoun, etc. Do we comply with that? Would that make it seem like we agree? If so, what should our response be?
Pastor: My preaching (communicating) model is “Truth with Grace” (John 1:14 & 17) and typically it serves as a great way to bring the temperature down in most discussions. Let me offer two suggestions:
- For the coworker with whom you have limited involvement: Just stay away from third-person pronouns with him or her. Refer to him/her by name and I think the problem goes away. Obviously, if they have changed their given name, you have a bigger problem. I would revert to the second person -“hey you”. Or if you really want to be pointed, ignore the “new name” and use their birth name. I was recently in a situation where initials were used, but that only really works if the changed name has the same starting letter.*
- For the coworker with whom you have regular interactions, it might be best to do the hard thing and share the truth in private, something like: “I love (like?) you because you are a fellow image-bearer. I believe you are equally valuable before God to anybody here. At the same time, I believe God made you male (or female) from the very beginning. I don’t believe gender is a measure of how you feel, but rather of what you are, physically. So I will do my best to honor you, without lying or pretending.” Then use the technique under heading #1.
Obviously if you know this person well, #2 will take longer than what is written here and it doesn’t guarantee peace and acceptance; but in as much as it does depend on you, try to be at peace with all.
Pastor Scott
* Using a given name or “you,” rather than a third-person pronoun sounds like an easy solution until one starts the “what abouts;” clearly if we weren’t distinct from the world before, we are now. 2 Corinthians 6:17 (“Come out from among them and be separate”), 1 John 2:15-17 (don’t love the world or its desires), Romans 12:2 (don’t conform to this world), and 1 Peter 2:9 (a chosen people, holy nation).
Grace Notes 