The following question came in after the Benediction on Sunday.  In case you weren’t in attendance, I made the point from Psalm 139 (cf. Genesis 1:27) that we were knit together in our mother’s womb as male OR female. 

Text: So in the workplace, when folks tell us they are a different pronoun, etc.  Do we comply with that?  Would that make it seem like we agree?  If so, what should our response be?

Pastor:  My preaching (communicating) model is “Truth with Grace” (John 1:14 & 17) and typically it serves as a great way to bring the temperature down in most discussions.    Let me offer two suggestions:

1. For the coworker with whom you have limited involvement:  Just stay away from third-person pronouns with him or her.    Refer to him/her by name and I think the problem goes away.  Obviously, if they have changed their given name, you have a bigger problem.  I would revert to the second person -“hey you”.  Or if you really want to be pointed, ignore the “new name” and use their birth name.  I was recently in a situation where initials were used, but that only really works if the changed name has the same starting letter.*   

2. For the coworker with whom you have regular interactions, it might be best to do the hard thing and share the truth in private, something like:  “I love (like?) you because you are a fellow image-bearer.   I believe you are equally valuable before God to anybody here. At the same time, I believe God made you male (or female) from the very beginning.  I don’t believe gender is a measure of how you feel, but rather of what you are, physically.  So I will do my best to honor you, without lying or pretending.”  Then use the technique under heading #1.

Obviously if you know this person well, #2 will take longer than what is written here and it doesn’t guarantee peace and acceptance; but in as much as it does depend on you, try to be at peace with all.

Pastor Scott
* Using a given name or “you,”  rather than a third-person pronoun sounds like an easy solution until one starts the “what abouts;”  clearly if we weren’t distinct from the world before, we are now.  2 Corinthians 6:17 (“Come out from among them and be separate”), 1 John 2:15-17 (don’t love the world or its desires), Romans 12:2 (don’t conform to this world), and 1 Peter 2:9 (a chosen people, holy nation).

Good list (the commentary has a decidedly feminine voice), but this list is co-ed and very helpful if we start to think about intentionally inviting our community to our church!  ~Pastor Scott

Equip

February 25, 2016

Hub Contributor

We are always told to invite friends to church or have a friend we want to invite, but our own fears and insecurities often get in the way of God’s plan.

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10 Ways To Invite A Friend To Church or Into Faith

Ashley Light

We’ve all been there. You have a friend who you think will benefit from a Bible study or church service, but you are clueless about how to invite them. Thoughts of rejection, judgment, and fear rise as you approach them with the question. Then you end up chickening out and just asking them if they want to get FroYo later instead. As Christians, we love to proclaim our faith to the world and let everyone know how happy we are in Christ, but the thought of physically asking someone to open up and share that faith with us is terrifying. Here are 10 tips on how to invite friends to come to church with you, or even have them open up about their faith.

1. Take them to coffee: I don’t know why, but life always feels more spiritual when studying the Bible with a cup of coffee in hand. The aesthetic of a coffee shop also provides a relaxing, intimate setting, where deep conversations are formed. While at the coffee shop, start by asking the question, “What does your spiritual background look like?” This will give you some insight as to what their past looks like with Christ, and figure out where to go from there.
2.  Invite them to an on-campus Bible Study or Christian Organization: Sometimes, the word “Church” itself can be daunting for some people. They may have had bad church experiences in the past, or are just not quite comfortable being in a congregation of people who raise their hands while singing worship songs, which is completely normal and understandable. An on-campus Bible study is filled with people who are the same age, and most likely have a similar story. The group usually will start with an icebreaker, and then dive into the Word, with room for discussion. I personally think this setting is less intimidating for a new Christian and will get them acclimated into studying the Bible.
3. Be persistent: Just because they say no the first time does not mean you should feel defeated and give up. They may be busy that night or not ready to immerse themselves. Give them time, and keep inviting them whenever you can. However, if they seem completely uninterested and annoyed, then you may want to take a break for a while and ask them again in a month or so. Try not to be pushy or overbearing, as this might drive them away.
4. Read a book or a couple of blogs: Like this one! Sometimes sitting down and reading a book or blog can not only be informational but can help you feel prepared and relaxed. I personally enjoyed the book Beyond Awkward by Beau Crosetto. He incorporates ways to talk about Jesus in a way that does not make people uncomfortable, including real-life examples of people who have benefitted from his tips. He too was once afraid to invite friends to faith and shares how he got over that fear and stepped out of his comfort zone.
5. Invite them to a social night at church: Every once and a while, a church will have a social night, or an event that is more about forming relationships and having fun, rather than worship and a sermon. This is a good way to integrate them into the church, have them meet a couple of your friends, and feel comfortable meeting new people in a more laid-back setting.
6. Invite your group of friends to come with you: Let’s face it. Everything is a little less scary when you’re doing it with your friends. Going with a group may make them more confident and comfortable, and then everyone gets to learn about Jesus!
7.  Have weekly dates to follow up: Being intentional and following up with someone who is giving their life to Christ for the first time is so important. Whether that’s just a text message to check up, a bible study at the beach, or grabbing brunch and talking about their week. Knowing that they have someone to come to as a resource will put them at ease and make them more eager to continue building their faith.
8. Be vulnerable: Share your story of how you came to Christ. Share the joy that you receive from being a Christian, but also share the tough times you have been through and the obstacles you have gone through since you came to faith. Let them know you are there for them every step of the way, no matter what.
9. Trust in God:  If it’s in His plan for your friend to come to Christ, it will happen. It just may take longer than you think, or in a different way than you were expecting. Trust in His plan, for He is all-knowing and has a plan for every one of His children.
10. Pray. Pray. Pray: All in all, the best thing you can do is pray for them. Intentionally, consistently, and sincerely.